Saturday, June 19, 2010

Delivering the bad news

When I made the appointment a few months ahead of time I requested that it be my doctor I see after the ultrasound. I hadn't seen him yet during this pregnancy and wanted him to be the one to "deliver the bad news".

I say "deliver the bad news" because I think being a parent of a child with special needs, you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Also, things have never been routine or easy for us. Let's just say the Lord has given us many, many challenges that most people don't have to face. We, of course, overcome them. That doesn't make these challenges any easier when we are faced with them. It also doesn't make them any easier to understand.

After Cameron's birth I looked at him and assumed my precious baby boy was healthy (other than the heart defect they mentioned to me at an 8 month ultrasound). Afterall, no one had said anything differently and this was my first baby so I didn't have any expectations.

Although I love surprises, which is why we didn't find out the sex of the baby prenatally, the surprise that came two hours after Cameron's birth wasn't one I enjoyed as much as hearing the words "it's a boy".

We learned two hours after Cameron's birth that he lkely had Down syndrome. We were shocked and saddened.

On to my second pregnancy. After the 20 week ultrasound we were told my doctor had been called out for a delivery, but we could wait. I told Dave to go back to work instead of waiting. I eventually gave up waiting and said I would see whatever doctor was available.

In the room a doctor that I had never met before came in smelling like smoke. He told me in a very routine fashion that they had seen a "cystic hygroma" during the ultrasound, he wanted me to go to a perinatologist, and sent me on my way. My mind was spinning as I had no idea what this meant. I went back to work and googled it. This is where the shock and sadness came.

After weekly ultrasounds at the perinatologists office, a lot of agony, and countless tears, I eventually gave it all up to God and had faith. Typing this is easy, doing it was not. I made the right choice, my precious baby (another boy) was miraculously born completely healthy.

Here we are again. The 20 week ultrasound. This time we would find out the sex of the baby, we were hoping for a girl, but more importantly praying that the baby was healthy.

The good news - IT'S A GIRL!

After the ultrasound the sonographer went to see if my doctor was ready to see me. He was called out for a delivery, but we could wait (dejavu). I noticed that there was a lot of concentration on the baby's heart and wanted to wait to see my doctor to "deliver the bad news".

We waited an hour and a half. I finally gave in and said I would see another doctor.

We were told the doctor would be right in. We waited another 20 minutes. I told Dave that nobody wants to come in and "deliver the bad news".

The bad news - the baby has bilateral chorid plexus cysts, a VSD (ventricular septal defect), and EFLV (elevated flow left ventrical).

These things alone would likely mean nothing but together it is likely a genetic defect, more likely Trisomy 18 or 21.

More shock and saddness.


RK said...

What a sorry for the sadness. What's the next step?

JRS said...

Congratulations that it's a girl. I will be reading to hear what's next. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karyn said...

Terri, hugs to you and your family. We will be praying for your little girlie girl.

Julie said...

Aw Terri, sorry you're getting to go through more pregnancy stress. Hopefully this will be short-lived and your sweet baby girl will be healthier than anticipated. A girl! We're loving pink around here lately :)

Michelle Z said...

I know exactly what you mean about always waiting for more bad news ... and I'm so, so sorry you have heard more sad news.

Congrats on adding a girl to your family!! We'll keep her in our thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I came across your blog on Networked Blogs on Facebook. I'm following it from now on. I am also a mother of a special needs child, a boy who has Lennox Gastaut Syndrome. I am so sorry to hear about your baby girl. My prayers are with you. -Len

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. Thinking of you as you navigate this new sea of information.